Buddha Chants

A News item says that China has tightened its rules on reincarnation of new living Buddhas, saying that those reincarnated without Goverment approval would be illegal and invalid. Henceforth all reincarnations of living Buddha should get Government approval. This is considered as an important move to institutionalise management on reincarnation.

The Notification lays down the principle, conditions, approval procedures and duties and responsibilities. The temples which apply for reincarnation of living Buddhas should be registered and capable of fostering and offering proper means of support to the living Buddha.

Can you beat it? The Chinese government have at last gotten round to controlling the sprouting of reincarnation of Buddhas and the deisputes between the lamas and the monasteries about the fake and the real incarnations. A time will come when the Dalai Lamas and Panchen Lamas will be Government sponsored and Government approved. So much for freedom of religion in China.

Here in India we have Godmen claiming to be reincarnation of the Shirdi Saibaba, the Kalki Avatar in South India with thousands of followers. a transvestite Police officer who claimed that he was the reincarnation of Radha and recently a child in UP claiming to be the reincarnation of Kalpana Chawla. We believe in reincarnations without let or hindrance, as it is ingrained in our religious ethos. The more the merrier. More "Breaking News" for our over 100 channels who may even sponsor reincarnations to raise their TRPs.

The Chinese have done the right thing in clamping restrictions on reincarnation. Who knows, we may have people lining up as reincarnations of Mao, Chou En Lai, the Gang of Four or Deng Zio Ping who may ease out the present rulers of China. Very wise precaution indeed.

We, however, would have no qualms about allowing a thousand Nehrus and Gandhis to bloom not to talk of the dasavataras repeating themseleves ad nauseam. We dont have to queue up before government offices and apply for recognition in triplicate to be processed and recognised with a government stamp of approval along with the PAN card so they dont cheat on the taxes. . Mera Bharat Mahaan !

A Trail of Two Cities - Part 2

Sitting on the 70th floor of Hotel Swissotel, sipping a glass of Champaigne ( at 18 dollars, otherwise one cant get entry here even during happy hours) one can see sprawled below the Colonial district of Singapore, with its glistening towers, unending traffic, well laidout and well lit streets which look like yellow ribbons and cars looking like ants marching in formation. At night, the whole city buzzes with activity along its river front, quays, malls, hundreds of pubs and karaoke joints, food courts with cuisine from every country in the world. One can get public transport upto midnght and taxis (Mercedes, BMWs Toyotas) thru the night. The city like its American counterpart, never sleeps.



Come morning, and one can find immaculately dressed Singaporeans driving down to their offices, coming out in droves from the MRT stations, sprinting determinedly to the multistoreyed office complexes. U can hardly find anyone loitering, idling, begging, throwing trash on the street etc. Every road,every building complex, every park, even foodcourt are spick and span. Shining and polished trash bins can be seen prominently placed. Warning signs tell u that you are under observation and vandals will be punished.



Singapore is a young city. Legend has it that a thousand years ago an Indian King named Tribhuvan who was ruling Sumatra went on a hunting expedition across the sea to a lush island and on the way the sea became turbulent and he had to throw his crown into the sea to calm it down. When he r eached the shore he found a lion in the dense tropical forest. He named the place Singapore (lion citiy which has since adopted the Merlion as its emblem). Sir Stafford Raffles of the East India Company came to Singapore in a ship withabout 200 people in the 1820's and it was he who developed this small island into the world's second largest port that it is today. Four hundred ships pass through this port every day. It is the financial hub of Asia,perhaps second only to tokyo.



What is it that makes Singapore tick? A highly efficient administration, thoroughly disciplined population and flourishing tourism including medical tourism. The Chinese who form 75 percent of the population are highly enterprising. So are the Indians who came and settled here along with Stafford Rafflls and the present day Expatriates who are software engineers and bankers or businessmen. Tamil is one of the official languages and a tamilian ( Mr. Nathan) is the president of Singapore. The Goverfnment officials are extremely well paid so there is hardly any corruption. Recently the salaries of bureaucrats were raised to the level of about Rs 3 crores per year to bring them on par with MNCs. Minsters get 4 to 6 crores an year. There was a public outcry and the Prime Minster donated the increase which he got, to charities to mollify the public.



Singapore is a shopper's paradise. Mustafas ( owned by a tamil muslim) is a 24 hours 365 days in an year open mall where u can aet anything from a pin to an elephant. The variety of fruits and vegetables and packaged foods is mind boggling. Electronic goods are cheap.



What is amazing is the trtaffic discipline. Wide roads,no potholes, no dug up footpaths or drains
no litter no cigarette stubs, implicit obedience to traffic signals and a surcharge on all vehicles which enter the office district during peak hours, a flat 2.50 dollars per vehicle.



It rains in Singapore throughout the year but the rainwater drains off fast. There are no puddles or overflowing drains . It is a pleasure to travel in the double decker buses fully airconditioned and with TV. No conductors. One just swipes an electronic card when one enters or gets down. The MRT network is a treat to travel in. There are glass doors on the platforms which open only when the train is in position and then the doors of the compartment open up as you enter. No possibility of any accident. Compare this with our local trains in Mumbai and one feels crestfallen. We have miles to go before we can come anywhere near the infrastructure here.



Sentosa Island is a tourist paradise with its Underwater World, Dolphin show, beaches with imported sand, Merlion, and free transort within the island. In the evening there is a laser light show of a princess imprisoned by an Ogre who awakens to the music from her lover; song and drama with fireworks by the seaside which is a treat for the eye.



Other attractions not to be missed are the Night Safari,the science Centre ( with the Tesla coil creating asrtificial lightning with a million watt discharge ) and sections on optical illusions, IT, Nanotechnology, biology, water games, etc.



Dont return from Singapore without tasting its national dish the Hainanese Chicken rice. The Dorian shaped Oera House on the Esplanade is anoher attracation not to be missed.



The most disappointing spot was the Memorial to INA where Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose is supposed to have given the call Chalo Delhi. It took half an hour for me to locate this in an obscure corner. Netaji formed the INA in 1944 when Singapore was under Japanese occupation. When the war ended the British downplayed the INA movement and it is just an apology of a monument with a vague and unflattering inscrption. Time the Govt.of India took it up with the Singapore Government to build a more fitting memorial at this spot on the Esplanade where statues of British Generals and Governors dominate the landscape.

Here ends the trail of two cities, Bangkok with its more humble and religious overtones sprinkled with poverty reminding us of apna Bharat and on the other side the glittering affluent
disciplined commercial hub of Singapore. A study in contrast. But both worth visiting to savour their sights and sounds and soothe your palate with their appetising cuisines.

A Trail of Two Cities Part I

Many contrasts, many similarities; one the capital of a country with an ancient civilisation which had absorbed much of Indian culture, religion and customs, which had never been a colony of European powers, has remained a monarchy throughout (though the King now is supposed to be a figurehead after the 1932 revolution which brought democracy to Thailand) and the other a modern city-country, hardly 200 years old, colonised by the British, occupied by Japan in 1942, resurged after WWII and after getting independence, steered by a visionary leader, rose to great economic heights and today a major South East Asian power. Four hundred ships pass through Singapore every day and it is the largest port in the world after Rotterdam. The similarities of course are that both are havens for foreign direct investment, hubs of banking and commerce, largest tourist centres after Paris and London. And both have only three seasons hot, hotter and hottest. Rains lash Singapore most unexpectedly and the skies clear equally fast. Roads dry up in no time, drainage is super-efficient.

Singapore is spick and span. NO ltter, all glitter. Buildngs look as if freshly painted, roads are without any potholes or uneven surface, traffic free flowing except during peak hours when there is an ERP charge of S$ 2 to 4 per vehicle as a disincentive to ensure that there is no choking of streets. There are cameras on the roads and in public places to catch vandals and those who defy traffic laws. Fines range from caning for throwing trash or peeing on roadside( no bobbitisation though) 1000 dollars for smoking in elevators, 100 dollars for not flushing the public toilets after use and death penalty for posession of drugs.( the last one is repeatedly announced by the airhostesses on the Singapoer Airlines filghts). Draconian, one may say but very much needed to instill discipline.

Bangkok, by contrast is more like our cities Mumbai or Kolkatta, a population of over a crore,(Singapore has 45 lakhs) a few beggars on the streets and traffic signals, roadside foodstalls which donot appear hygienic ( a contrast to the neat and clean foodcourts in Singapore). Milling crowds, massage parlours and foot reflexology centres where one can see hordes of foreign tourists reclining on chairs and getting their shopping-weary legs massaged. Traffic jams are common, one can never be sure of reaching the airport unless an extra hour is added to the reporting time. Taxi drivers donot know English and you are on tenterhooks whether they will take you to the right place or dump you in some godforsaken part of Bangkok. It is essential to carry the address of your destination written in thai language ( which to me seems to have a similarity with malayalam script).

I spent five days in Bngkok. The main attractions are of course the Emerald Buddha, the reclining buddha and the Golden Buddha ( 3000 kg of solid gold). The Emerald Buddha is to Thailand what Tirupathi is to us. The most sacred temple where no one is allowed into the elevated sanctum sanctorum on which the idol rests, except the priests and the King who personally changes the garments on the idol ( made of gold) thrice a year, one for rainy season, one for summer and one for winter, if one can call it winter.No photography is allowed here. Apart from this, there is the Royal Palace ( the king no longer lives there) and a miniature Angkor Wat style temple, a bodhi tree grown from a branch brought from the tree at Bodh Gaya under which Buddhha attained Nirvana. The Reclining Buddha is majestic,over forty metres long, cast in bronze with a gold covering and can be photographed. Around this temple there are scores of other temples and monasteries, yellow robed monks chanting and worshipping, guides explaining the architecture and religious significance to groups of german, russian and american tourists in their respective languages.

Bangkok has a great riverfront. One can travel by the hundreds of boat ferries for a nominal charge of 10 to 20 bahts ( Rs 13 to 26) Along both banks of the river one can see the huge temples, monuments and five star hotels. At every ferry point tourists hop on and hop off, thus saving time consuming journies by taxis. It is fun to ride in these boats and feel the fresh air and spray of water on one's face. There is a convention that buddhist monks sit on the seats on the left and ladies are not allowed to sit on these rows of seats.

From every road, every buildng and even churches, huge portraits of the King and Queen peer down upon the traffic. One swiss tourist got so fed up seeing the king's portrait at every step that he threw black paint on the portrait on King's birthday ( of all days) and was promptly arrested. The trial was held in camera and he was sentenced to 70 years in jail. So beware! It is another matter that the King subsequently pardoned the swiss tourist(incidentallly the king was educated in switzerland). The king is adored and veneraed by Thai people. They call him Rama and the old capital was known as Ayuthaya. The major arterial roads in Bangkok aernamed after Rama I through Rama IX. Murals from Ramayana ( Ramakian in thai) are painted on the walls of the quadrangle around the; emerald buddha temple. The pre-Buddhist Hindu influence is evident in a number of temples dedicated to Hindu Gods, the Nagas ( serpents) guarding the roofs of the temples, names of people and places.

Indian food was a problem in Bangkok. though there are umpteen so called indian hotels, none of them was up to the mark. All these hotels ( including the Dosa King and Komalas ) are manned by Thai staff and the only Indian there must be the cook hiding in the kitchen. Better to eat fast food at MacDonalds or Pizza Hut. If you want to try the exotic, I saw a costermonger with a wheelbarrow loaded with fried grasshoppers! Frogs sprawling on plates are on display at streetside joints.

Tourists shop like mad in Bangkok. there are hundreds of Malls, and you can get every item at reasonable prices. Bargaining is a must. Since the shop assistants have no or poor k nowledge of English, they use a calculator to show the price and you can show what you want to pay. A nod of the head horizontal or vertical will do the rest. Premium brands like Polo T shirts, Adidas etc. can be had for one tenth of the market price. Whether these are pirated or stolen from the factories is difficult to guess. (Thailand is a huge outsourcing centre for most multnational consumer goods and garments).

The Safari World is another attraction. One can spend a full day having breakfast with orangotangs, feeding tiger cubs ( drugged and with claws clipped - SPCA and PET to please note) and getting photographed, watching the dolphin show, and going in an airconditioned bus on a jungle trail of one hour seeing every variety of wildlife in its natural habitat. All for a stiff entranace fee of 700 Bahts (Rs 900) It is so hot in the park that one needs to carry a hand fan. Water atomisers are available from vendors at bahts 100.

And now for the Thai Massage. HOw can you return from Bangkok without experiencing the Thai massage? It costs 300 Bahts and lasts one hour, which is paid upfront to a receptionist cum cashier who issues a receipt.You sit on a sofa while your feet are washed in scented water and rubbed. Then, you are taken to the mezzanine floor (ground floor is for foot reflexology) where there is row of mattresses on the floor separated by curtains. You are given freshly ironed pyjamas and long sleeved shirt to change into. Then the masseuse comes and starts the famous Thai Massage. It is more like medieval torture. She pats and pounds and twists your arms and legs to every conceivable angle and posture, pulls the arm till it gets detatched from the ball and socket joint, presses the spine till the vertebrae start creaking like unoiled hinges, walks barefoot on your back and thighs and calf muscles as if kneading dough with her legs, tries to pull out your knee cap from its secure moorings, twists the ankles probably with the intention of transforming you into a clubfoot by the time the massage is over. Then the scapula, the occipitals and the cranium; treats them as if they are made of cast iron. All the time the masseuse ( whose name she gave as Pom) kept up the conversation, mostly small talk,in broken English, enquiring about my country of origin, religion, ancestry, language, etc( fortunately not my gender). At the end of one hour, I emerged from the massage, all in one piece, but badly shaken. For the voyeurs and the libidinous tourist there are other kinds of massage parlours, but these are in the alleys and bylanes ( Sois) which are best avoided by the faint hearted. Soliciting by streetwalkers and pimps is common in the Sukhomvit area and police swoop on these characters, round them up and take them away in their vans. Within minutes, another bunch of the ladies of the night descend on the street and it is business as usual! Sad as it is, sex tourism is one of the mainstays of the economy of Thailand.

The new airport is an hour's drive from the hotel. The airports outer appearance is drab looking like a row of aercraft hangars, painted gray. But inside, the airport can hold its own against Changi of Singapore. Passage is fairly smooth through immigration, etc in spite of the language problem and there is no separate airport for budget airlines. I counted at least forty airlines counters including the budget ones.

Well, that is it for now. I will continue my narrative in Part II, anon.

Shilpa - An Epilogue

So, the show is over. Kahani khatam, paisa hajam. Everyone gained except the 5 million suckers who sent sms's and made Vodofone richer and gave Channel 4 a new lease of life.
Our desi channels had nothing else to do but flash the winning cry of shilpa, the fireworks, the interview with CEO of Big Brother and footage of Shilpa's domestic servants singing paeans about their "Madam"

Shilpa's career in Bollywood had gone to seed. Her mother is a shrewd businesswoman. She grabbed the offer refused by Kareena and Mahima and sent the seed to London where fortuitously the soil was rich and a miracle fertiliser called Jade Goody did the rest. Mom flew to London, ostensibly to give moral support to her daughter close at hand, but in reality, to reap the golden harvest, sack the previous agent, grab new contracts and offers from the tabloids, hosting tv programmes and writing a book on her experiences. Maybe a Hollywood offer is in the offing too. So, when rains, it pours. Shetty beti is riding high. The sacked agent is now threatening to pull the skeletons out of the cupboard such as shilpa's seeking help of the mafia to recover her dues from Garden Silks, the arrest warrants against her parents, et al . But who cares. Nothing succeeds like success.

Now it is time for us to introspect: Are we using our fingers correctly, why do we undercook our chicken, why do most Indians live in slums? What about our accent?
I for one feel that we should continue to be what we are. These are our USPs and if India sells, it is because of these oddities. India shines! Mera Bharat Mahaan!

Shilpa Shetty's forays into reality shows

Now, don't tell me all this hullabaloo is about nothing.

It is a cleverly orchestrated publicity gimmick to boost Channel 4 viewership and incidentally Shilpa's career.

One wonders why she has not made a formal complaint to the producers of the show without which they cannot take any action on the so called offenders.

By the way is racism something new? When recently recruited nurses from Kerala were targeted in Uk, called Pakis, stones thrown at therir windows and car tyres deflated, it did not make the headlines and not a single channel in India aired it. And dont we ourselves practice color discrimination, The booming sales of fairness creams tells the story. Much worse, we still practise untouchability in our villages and small towns, dalits live in ghettoes.

Bitching? Most heroines of Bollywood bitch against each other in private and sometimes in public. Their vocab may not match Jade's but surely hurt as much.

Why is it that her mother is not in the least bit perturbed and calls this a learning experience for her daughter so she can grow as a person, from the cocooned existence she had till now.

There is lot of moolah involved a cool 35 million and if she stays till the end may be a prize money much higher than that.

So keep your fingers crossed and pray for Shilpa baby. She is growing up fast.

Incidentally could not Tony Blair,Priyaranjan Dasmunshi, Chidambaram, Sitaram Yechury, UK's Chancellor of the Exchequer, spared their breath for mightier causes such as coming elections in UK , withdrawal of troops from Iraq, the agitation in singur and directions for next year's budget, etc.

As they say bad publicity is better than no publicity as long as u hit the headlines of UK's tabloids and broadsheets and most of the aaltu phaaltu chananels in our own country.

Long l ive Big Brother and all his bitchy sisters.

I think therefore I am

Famous words of Descartes written four hundred years ago.

Does it mean if u cease to think, u cease to be? Or u control your thoughts and u control yourself? Is thought your master or you his?

I heard a simple parable today from my Yoga teacher. A youth eager to seek self- r ealisation and and attain enlightenment, went to a revered Master entreating him to take him as a disciple and help achieve his desired goal. The Master asked him to take a round of the Monastery , talk to other disciples and comeback to him.

The youth went round the monastery and talked to some of the Master's disciples. He asked them how long they had been there and whether they had achieved self-realisation. One replied " I am trying to achieve it for the last twenty years and I think I am on my way to enlightenment. Another said " I have been here for thirty years and am yet to reach my goal though I feel i am very near" The youth, disappointed, came back to the Master and told him : "I cannot wait for so long. Show me a short cut so that I can achieve enlightenment instantaneously" " Well, my son" replied the Master, " there is a much shorter route of course. All that u have to do is to come here at sunrise tomorrow and take one round of the monastery. There is, however, one condition. While circumambulating, u must not think of the camel.If u think of a camel even once, u have to start all over again" The youth was delighted. He had never seen a camel and would certainly not think about it while performing the assigned task. He promised to come the next morning at sunrise.

The Next day, the youth came at sunrise, his mind fresh and determination writ large on his face. He started from the door of the monastery and went a few yards when he was reminded of the stern warning of the Master "U shall not think of the camel" The boy thought "Woe betide me! Why should I have been reminded of this warning? Oh all my efforts have gone waste." He was back at the door starting his round. But the thought of the camel would just not leave him and every time he would return frustrated to start afresh. This went on and on till the youth realised his folly and fell at the feet of the Master asking for forgiveness for his impetuosity in seeking a short cut.

We can never control our thoughts. We can, however, learn to control our minds. The mind is the fountainhead of all thoughts and if we block the source, the flow downstream can be controlled. Easier said than done! Yes, but therein lies the secret of spiritual enlightenment.

Thinking about the plight of the youth, I was reminded of the original sin according to the Bible. God specifically forbade Adam and Eve from eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge. And they did exactly that and thus began the fall of Man. The serpent was incidental. The temptation ( serpent) lies within each of our minds. The more u r asked not to do a certain thing, the more determined u would be to do it. Often just as a matter of defiance or for the heck of it.

And here is another superlative piece of masterly non-cognitive detatchment from the "Buddhagosha" . The disciple asks the master Mahatissa "Perhaps your reverence has met a certain lady?" and the Master replies " I know not whether man or woman passed. A certain lump of bones went by this way"

Tribute to Barmaids

Men do make passes

At girls with the right kind of glasses!